I got married pretty young compared to the rest of my generational peers. I married Ernesto in 2015 at 23 years old with absolutely no definite plan for my future. We started living together soon after that and we have been evolving alongside each other ever since!
It may be an odd thing to say but if I had the opportunity to do it again, I’m not so sure I would have taken that leap. To be honest, I’m not sure I’d marry at all. I’ve developed my own stance on the constitution of marriage as I’ve gotten older but, at the time, we were so young and had so much to learn not only about ourselves but about each other. It was a true challenge at first; trying to adjust co-existing with someone else when you’re used to having your own space can be a challenge. I wasn’t very good at communicating my thoughts or emotions at the beginning and I had to learn that very quickly if I wanted any of my relationships to work out. Things got a lot easier after we learned our communicative flow, I began feeling more comfortable expressing myself without feeling guilty about it (to think back and see that I felt in any way shameful for saying what was on my mind is insane!) It brought us closer together, not only as a couple, but as best friends & each others' confidant.
But as much as we place importance on “communication,” not enough is emphasized on listening. This is something I learned being with Ernesto; we would each try to express our thoughts but we weren’t listening to one another. Once I learned that shutting the hell up sometimes and really making an effort to gain perspective about the other person (whoever that may be) was more effective, it elevated our bond! Now we are listening to understand, not respond. If I had to share the biggest lesson I learned being in a long-term relationship, it would be that.
Of course, we are still human; we have disagreements, we argue but being in this journey together for almost eight years has taught us how to better navigate through those differences.
FUN FACT: Ernesto was my first boyfriend ever and I never thought we would still be here since our college days! But here we are :)
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Thank you for tuning in this weeks “Cafecito con Pan” blog!